Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

PLOT: After Elizabeth, Will, and Captain Barbossa rescue Captain Jack Sparrow from the land of the dead, they must face their foes, Davey Jones and Lord Cutler Beckett. Beckett, now with control of Jones' heart, forms a dark alliance with him in order to rule the seas and wipe out the last of the Pirates.
RATED: PG-13 for intense sequences of action/adventure violence and some frightening images.
RUNNING TIME: 168 MINUTES
STARS: Johnny Depp (Jack Sparrow), Keira Knightley (Elizabeth Swann), Geoffrey Rush (Captain Barbossa), Orlando Bloom (Will Turner), Stellan Skarsgard (Bootstrap Bill), Bill Nighy (Davy Jones), Chow Yun-Fat (Captain Sao Feng), Keith Richards (Captain Teague).

Gord Burt 4 Stars

In this, the summer of three’s (Spider-Man, Shrek, Jason Bourne, Ocean’s 13) one film franchise stands above them all. Avast ye land lovers, the pirates are back and this time they be takin’ no prisoners.

The sprawling, massive adventure epic Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, while far from a flawless film, aims to stay faithful to its predecessors as it ups the ante (a lot) with a boat-load of new plot developments, characters and surprisingly nifty subtext. Pirates 3 has a few more plot-threads than it really needs; it’s a bit longer than it really needs to be but the bottom line is once again, the Pirates series entertains in style, in character and adventure, in wit and weirdness.

More than ever, Johnny Depp masterfully keeps the movie afloat, even when the sheer weight of all those other characters threatens to throw it off-course. Keira Knightley continues the ascendancy she began in Pirates 2, evolving from damsel in distress to full-fledged pirate and swordswoman. But the true standout of Pirates 3 is Geoffrey Rush, whose snarling comments and boisterous energy were sorely missed in Pirates 2. Rush and Depp make a fantastic team whenever the pair share the screen.

Most of the film’s special effects budget seems to have gone into the final 45 minutes, during which Pirates 3 throws everything one could ask for from a pirate movie at the audience, and then some. There are swordfights in the ships rigging, sea storms, epic ship-to-ship battles, monkeys shot from canons, a woman dissolving into crabs, and all manner of other excesses to shiver one’s timbers.

As advertised, Rolling Stone Keith Richards shows up as Captain Jack’s dad at a pirate conference as the keeper of the pirate code, even strumming a tune on a guitar and giving Jack an update on his mom.

Following an incredible, special-effects-charged grand finale, there’s also more than a hint that Pirates 3 is not the end of this phenomenally successful series, so be hearty and hope for further adventures of Captain Jack.

Erin Harde 2 Stars

Hot on the Heels of the disappointing Spider-Man 3 and Shrek 3, Pirates of the Caribbean’s third installment also completes a trilogy of abysmal summer blockbusters. At World’s End throws all of the franchise’s swashbuckling swaggering charm overboard. Instead it thrusts us into the pirate lore that’s been developing over the course of the last two films. It should be light and frivolous but instead delves into a plot too heavy to stay afloat.

At World’s End picks up right where the second movie left off without so much as a quick refresher or any clues as to what happened, so unless you’ve boned up on the plot and characters, prepare for a story that requires some effort of its audiences.

If you remember, Pirates 2 ended with Elizabeth Swann smooching Captain Jack Sparrow before he jumped into the mouth of a giant sea monster. At World’s End finds Sparrow in Davy Jones’s locker, now a literal expression, and hallucinating as he wanders in a type of limbo. Elizabeth and Orlando Bloom’s Will Turner join forces with Captain Barbossa (the incredibly talented Geoffrey Rush) to rescue Sparrow, bring together the pirate lords, defeat Davy Jones and the West India Trading Company and free Will’s father. It gets much more convoluted from there, but if you’re a fan of sword fighting and a dizzying pace of action, it won’t matter that Pirates is trying to force the plot to Lord of the Rings heights.

Depp and Rush are the most charismatic of the cast, but Bloom and Keira Knightely get the job done, though they muster zero chemistry. Even though it’s not intended, sparks actually fly when Knightely is on screen with Depp. Yet, in a ridiculously cliché moment, she and Bloom come together in the final moments before he sails off into the sunset.

At World’s End has its peaks, thanks to the quirkiness of the lead pirates and a brief cameo by a grizzled Keith Richards, but Pirates of the Caribbean should have been sunk after the first movie.

Shrek the Third

PLOT: When his new father-in-law King Harold dies, Shrek is looked at as the heir to the land of Far, Far Away. Not one to give up his beloved swamp, Shrek recruits his friends Donkey and Puss n’ Boots to install the rebellious Artie as the new king. Princess Fiona, however, rallies a band of royal girlfriends to fend off a coup d'etat by the jilted Prince Charming.
RATED: PG for some crude humor, suggestive content and swashbuckling action.
RUNNING TIME: 93 MINUTES
STARS: Voices of: Mike Myers (Shrek), Eddie Murphy (Donkey), Antonio Banderas (Puss n’ Boots), Cameron Diaz (Fiona), Justin Timberlake (Artie), Julie Andrews (Queen Lillian), John Cleese (King Harold), Rupert Everett (Prince Charming), Eric Idle (Merlin).

Gord Burt 2 Stars

When whoever it was coined the phrase about going to the well too often, it’s hard to believe they weren’t thinking about movies, but in the case of Shrek the Third the sentiment fits. Shrek the Third is a sequel made for the worst reason, merely to keep a mega franchise in the public eye, sell loads of merchandise and to position it for TV and Broadway spinoffs.

The plot seems cobbled from ideas rejected from the first and second films. Shrek finds Arthur, who goes by Artie, at a Camelot-themed high school. One would expect a medieval spoof of John Hughes films to follow. Sadly the most interesting part only lasts five minutes. When Merlin pops up, we expect something akin to The Sword and the Stone only Shrek-style, but that doesn’t happen either, which begs the question why bring King Arthur into the story if you’re not going to use his legend?

By now, though, the series is showing signs of aging, from the predictably jokey store signs (Versarchery) to the classic-rock instrumentals playing under the fight scenes. Where the first two Shrek movies were family films with an adult edge, this third one is a watered down kids’ movie through and through. Children will still probably want to see it repeatedly, but adults will feel they’ve seen it before.

The animation is fine (probably the best of the Shrek movies as the technique is refined and perfected), though as usual, the facial expression isn’t a strong suit, especially on the humans populating Far Far Away. The damsels in distress all look like the eerie plastic store display mannequins. The Shrek movies’ animation is best highlighted by the non-humans, yet strangely this movie adds more humans than ever to the mix.

There are still a number of good moments though. There’s a hilarious, if wonderfully unnecessary, dream sequence when the life of the Gingerbread Man flashes before his gumdrop eyes. Eddie Murphy is hilariously obnoxious as donkey, and when Fiona and the damsels in distress finally start fighting back, the film picks up as they kick the butts of any villainous rogues they encounter.

Erin Harde 2 Stars

Much like its title character, this ogre of a movie can’t be dressed up and passed off as royalty. Shrek 3 does a disservice to the franchise, offering nothing original by way of animation, plot or even the jokes. Instead, it panders to school children through its ad nauseum lessons about bullying and shirking responsibility.

Not that it shouldn’t appeal to kids, but unlike the first two Shrek movies, there’s nothing in this for anyone over 10. Carrying on the story of Shrek and Princess Fiona, this third installment has the princess feeling the twinge of her biological clock, while Shrek has to decide whether to fill in for the recently deceased king (which entails an amusing drawn out death scene) or find Arthur, the other heir mentioned by the king on his death bed.

Favourite sidekicks Donkey and Puss ‘n Boots return to help Shrek with his mission. These two, voiced by Eddie Murphy and Antonio Banderas, offer the best lines in the movie, much more than Mike Meyers. Once the trio leaves to find Arthur, Prince Charming is free to make good on an evil plot to take over Far Far Away. It’s a weak story, but it leads to what the Shrek movies do so well – breathing life into fairy tales.

Charming is joined by famous fairy tale villains like Captain Hook and the queen from Snow White in a scheme to imprison Fiona and kill Shrek. Meanwhile, Fiona, newly pregnant, is having a baby shower with every fairy tale princess in history.

The movie offers a new spin on the perfect and prim women from the story books, especially when they begin to fight back against charming. Snow White approaches the castle flocked by birds and forest creatures singing a sweet tune. And then she’s suddenly belting Led Zeppelin, one of the few refreshing moments of the movie.

Except for its outstanding soundtrack and reinterpretation of the Grimm Brothers’ heroes, Shrek 3 hardly offers the happily ever after that the series so deserved.

Spider-Man 3

RATED: PG-13 for sequences of intense action violence.
RUNNING TIME: 140 MINUTES
PLOT: Peter Parker has finally managed to strike a balance between his devotion to M.J. and his duties as a superhero. Forced to choose between the seductive powers of an alien symbiote and the compassionate hero he used to be, Peter must overcome his personal demons as two of the most-feared villains yet, Sandman and Venom, gather unparalleled power and a thirst for retribution to threaten Peter and everyone he loves.
STARS: Tobey Maguire (Peter Parker/Spider-Man), Kirsten Dunst (Mary Jane Watson), James Franco (Harry Osborn), Thomas Haden Church (Flint Marko/Sandman), Topher Grace (Eddie Brock/Venom), Bryce Dallas Howard (Gwen Stacy), Bruce Campbell (waiter), Stan Lee (himself).

Gord Burt 4 Stars

The old phrase “what a tangled web we weave…” perfectly sums up Spider-Man 3. The busy plot means that no one character, except our hero, fully gets their due as the story is secondary because the movie is overeager to accommodate every fanboy’s favorite character. Despite the busy plot, Spidey 3 is a visually stunning and entertaining movie that upholds the immensely popular series.

As Spider-Man, Peter Parker must contend with at least three villains, including the Sandman and Venom, an alien substance that forces Parker and his photojournalist nemesis Edward Brock Jr. to battle their own dark sides.

There are moments, in particular those involving the evil symbiote (that bonds to a host for survival), that work like a charm. Parker gets up close and personal with the icky alien, which produces an unnaturally aggressive Spider-Man and turns Parker into an egocentric chick-magnet with a Saturday Night Fever swagger. The effect is priceless, offering Tobey Maguire a chance to strut his stuff.

Kirsten Dunst isn’t so blessed, stuck with a one-note role that she phones in with little pizzazz. Thank goodness we are introduced to Gwen Stacy. Bryce Dallas Howard brings some fun and beauty to the movie offering a smile and laugh where Watson frowns and pouts.

There are also two scene stealing cameos. First, the obligatory Stan Lee appearance as he stops by to tell Peter Parker that one person actually can make a difference. The topper is Bruce Campbell’s appearance as a French waiter. Campbell is hilarious as a snotty waiter whose help Peter enlists for a perfect romantic evening.

It’s not the best of the three because it lacks the character development that made the first installment so good. But director Sam Raimi and company do justice to the comic book and definitely deliver on the action. A little more attention to detail and to the characters could have made this a great film rather than just the breathtaking roller-coaster ride it is.

Erin Harde 2 Stars

With multiple villains, plots and even leading ladies, Spider-Man 3 spins a web with way too many strands. Director Sam Raimi clearly couldn’t just settle on one idea, instead cramming at least two movies worth of material into this second Spider-Man sequel.

It’s a shame because each story line is worth some attention, and Raimi robs his film of that potential, and the audience the joy of watching the hero or villain discover his powers for the first time. The most outstanding part of the original was feeling your skin tingle as Tobey Maguire’s Peter Parker felt the same. Watching him fumble with his new abilities, and eventually master them, was a treat. In Spider-Man three, as the Sandman, Venom and even Parker stumble across extra terrestrial and local phenomena that changes their DNA, enabling them with new powers, the transition is too quick to satisfy. It’s disappointing because the villains they become are spectacular.

There are about 20 minutes of brilliance as Parker gives in to the alien fuelling his new dark look and bad attitude. Looking like a lost member of Fall Out Boy and sporting way too much eyeliner, straight-laced Parker becomes a ladykiller. After a fall out with Mary Jane Watson, he woos Gwen Stacey, (played by a stunning Bryce Dallas Howard who effortlessly steals the spotlight from Kirsten Dunst) and takes over a jazz bar with an eye-opening performance.

Maguire shows off his chops for the first time in the Spider-Man series, instead of just his well-chiseled torso. Going from the completely baffled Parker, perplexed by his girlfriend’s behavior, to this debonair, if cruel, character is a challenge he meets.

Meanwhile, the other plots and villains suffer neglect, and stage further competition for the limelight as Harry carries on his father’s evil legacy. By the end, all of the plots are loosely spun together, but the connecting fibres are too flimsy to keep this friendly neighborhood Spider-Man from falling through.

DVD Review - The Full Monty: Fully Exposed Edition

2.5 Stars

The Full Monty is a British film about six unemployed guys who, down on their luck, decide to make cash by stripping. The guys are (well, all but one) not your average Chippendale dancers and there is plenty of amusement in watching these men come together, build up their courage to strip and almost bail on the project several times.

Monty traps you in its formula and you can’t help wishing these blokes well. They represent a universal paradigm for relatable feel good movie characters: the loner, the aging man (also representing minorities), the prude who is really a swell guy, the untalented but well-endowed fellow, the insecure one who is also obese, and the average down on his luck Joe.

The Full Monty is at its best when it examines the exploits of these unlikely strippers. Unfortunately, it adds too much unneeded drama as well. It is these dramatic subplots where the film grinds to a dreary halt.

There’s a lot to like about Monty, some great moments and great interaction between characters. But there’s an awful lot of dead space where you wish more of that was happening. The film hasn’t aged well and the jokes are stale 10 years later.

DVD Review - Color of the Cross

2.5 stars

Was Jesus black? He could have been, given the features of the people from the region of the world where he lived. He was almost certainly not the generally-accepted representation of him as a fair-skinned, flaxen-haired Caucasian, yet, Hollywood has never seen fit to make a major motion picture featuring a more realistic Son of God. Until now.

This controversial reinterpretation of the scriptures, which transpires during the 48 hours leading up to the Crucifixion (think Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ without the violence, production values and dead language), mixes many instantly recognizable Biblical passages with speculation about a motive for murdering Jesus, which had to do with his skin color.

Although this ethnic discrimination angle might be factually inaccurate, it finally furnishes us with a reason for the Crucifixion. But once the revisionist idea of a black Jesus, not to mention Mary, Joseph and Judas, has worn off, we’re stuck with more mundane matters such as story, visual style and the people, much to the misfortune of the audience. Lacking the drama of Jesus’ trial and the passion, as well as the substance of his teachings, director/co-writer/co-producer/star Jean Claude LaMarre’s version has very little to offer dramatically or inspirationally.

Christ’s color is made central to his persecution. All of his tormentors comment on it, which unbalances the story and transforms it into a too-specific tale of racial injustice rather than one of divinely benevolent sacrifice on everybody’s behalf. It is still an interesting movie and offers a fresh take on the greatest story ever told.