Invincible

RATED: PG for sports violence and some mild language
RUNNING TIME: 104 MINUTES
PLOT: When part time bartender and full time Eagles fan Vince Papale tries out for the team during open tryouts, he makes the team and soon founds himself living every fan’s fantasy, moving from his cheap seats in the upper deck to standing on the field as a professional football player.
STARS: Mark Wahlberg (Vince Papale), Greg Kinnear (Dick Vermeil), Elizabeth Banks (Janet), Kevin Conway (Frank Papale).

Gord Burt 4 Stars

A common thread runs through the following: the 1980 United States Miracle on Ice at the Lake Placid Olympics; James J Braddock becoming boxing’s heavyweight champ; Seabiscuit defeating War Admiral; Babe Ruth’s called shot; Wayne Gretzky smashing Gordie Howe’s NHL goal scoring record. None of them were supposed to happen. In this day and age, sports more than religion, seem to be a source for inspiration and miracles.

Invincible tells the mostly true (and very miraculous) story of down-on-his-luck bartender Vince Papale, who attended the Philadelphia Eagles’ open tryout and impressed newly appointed head football coach Dick Vermeil. Papale eventually accepted an invitation to the Eagles’ training camp and half expected to be cut after the first week. To his surprise, not to mention that of his family, friends and teammates, Papale battled for, and won, a roster spot, providing his discouraged hometown Eagles fan base with a reason to care about the battered franchise.

By including gratuitous shots showing the rundown houses, dirty businesses and Papale jogging through his inner-city neighbourhoods, director Ericson Core clearly indicates his intentions to wrestle the title of top overachiever from Philly’s other favourite underdog son, Rocky Balboa, and he temporarily succeeds, at least until Sylvester Stallone releases the sixth and (allegedly) final Rocky in December.

About the only person not excited by Papale’s remarkable rise is Mark Wahlberg. Though physically prepared for the film’s hard-hitting football sequences, Wahlberg brings about a quarter of the energy needed. Papale provided these good-natured bums with an escape from their daily hardships and Wahlberg had an opportunity to channel that energy, yet even as Papale’s fortunes turn, the actor’s enthusiasm stays inexplicably level. And not just with his buddies, but scenes with his less-than-enthusiastic teammates and even the emotional scenes with his father.

The beer drinking cast of friends gives the film a huge energy boost; Greg Kinnear is great as the legendary Vermeil, and the underappreciated Elizabeth Banks adds both sex appeal and a woman’s sensibility to this male dominated movie.

Invincible is a neatly packaged Walt Disney movie with bone-crunching football action, a nice sense of the blue-collar, male-dominated fanaticism that flourishes in football stadiums and a sense of the impossible becoming reality. Fans of other Disney sports movies like Glory Road, Miracle or Remember the Titans should love this wonderful story in all its hard-hitting glory.

Erin Harde 4 Stars

It’s amazing how a well-made movie can draw you into an event and make you care about the subject as passionately as those who were actually there. Inspired by the true story of Vince Papale, Invincible has a surprising amount of spine tingling moments for a football movie, especially given they’re not from the crushing football scenes so much as the quiet moments.

Football fan or not, you can expect to become Vince Papale’s No. 1 fan for two hours as he makes the play to become a Philadelphia Eagle. It will feel like you’re right there at the bar with all his other buddies, encouraging and supporting him, and celebrating when he goes all the way. You’ll cheer just as fiercely for him as he tries to hold his spot on the team and feel the anger rise as he fights the odds and takes abuse from a locker room full of the sport’s greatest. And that’s if you know nothing about the rise of real life Papale from bartender to NFLer. Fans of the sport, the Eagles or Papale will appreciate Invincible even more, especially if they watched this underdog rise to fame in the mid-‘70s.

Mark Wahlberg is well cast as the sombre and humble Papale, who is even more likeable because of his quiet determination. He’s realistic about the odds of becoming a professional athlete yet works harder than any of the real athletes. Papale does it not so much for himself, but for his broken father, for his unemployed friends who walk the picket line and to spite his ex-wife who told him he wouldn’t amount to anything. And even during his rise to fame, he still comes back to the neighbourhood bar to catch up with his pals, recognizing he’s still one of them.
Greg Kinnear plays coach Dick Vermeil, a parallel to Papale. Vermeil is fighting the odds of his own background as the UCLA coach, and bringing back a team that suffered years of crushing defeat. The character seems a bit soft as a head coach, but he drafts Papale so you have to like him.

Considering the comeback of the Eagles and renewed pride in the team, Invincible may just inspire other football clubs to consider open tryouts, if only for the publicity alone.

Accepted

RATED: PG-13 for language, sexual material and drug content.
RUNNING TIME: 93 MINUTES
STARS: Justin Long (Bartleby Gaines), Jonah Hill (Sherman Schrader), Blake Lively (Monica), Maria Thayer (Rory), Anthony Heald (Dean Van Horne).
PLOT: When a high school slacker discovers he’s been rejected from every college he’s applied to, he creates a fake university in order to fool his overzealous parents.

Gord Burt 3.5 Stars

Accepted appears to bear the fingerprints of many forebearers, from the legendary Animal House to the more recent National Lampoon’s Van Wilder, and though there are similarities, it doesn’t quite reach the pantheon of great college movies. It lacks Animal House’s scathing satire and Van Wilder’s gross-out humour, instead playing it safely down the middle.

Before you can chant "To-ga! To-ga!" and channel the spirit of John Belushi, Bartleby and his acceptance-challenged buddies have a real student body of misfits pouring into his members-only club, now a haven for all those rejected by every other school in town, complete with dorm, cafeteria, swimming pool and the obligatory hot blond former strippers.

The one-liners and visual gags are almost always successful, and the lovable dorks, losers and misfits in supporting roles are great. Much of Accepted is ludicrous beyond belief, but even when the screenwriters and actors are insulting your intelligence, they have the courtesy to be consistently funny with the genuine laughs.

Even though the plot is about as delicate as a hammer to the head, the comedy is still somehow inventive. Take the name of the school (South Harmon Institute of Technology), an acronym with endless possibilities. It’s a running joke that should get old quick, but the writers and cast keep finding ways to make it funny again and again. For example, the mascot is a sandwich. (Think about it for a minute. It will come to you.)

Bartleby seems like he might have been mentored by Matthew Broderick’s Ferris Bueller because he has a laid-back, smart-a** Bueller mentality and attitude going on as a graduating high school senior who has been systematically rejected by all eight universities to which he applied.

The movie really settles down and the laughs come close to stopping once Bartleby and company decide to play things for keeps, turning S.H.I.T. into a fully functioning free-for-all school. That’s when the comic energy begins to wane and never manages to get back up to speed before some heavy third-act speeches kick in. For 90 minutes it’s a fun, if forgettable, movie.

Erin Harde 2.5 Stars

As students get ready to head back to campus or set foot on it for the first time, Accepted is entertainment for the other half who won’t be slogging over the books for the next four to 10 years of their lives. Accepted is the anti-college movie, the perfect solace for the kids who didn’t make it into a post-secondary program, and the perfect fodder for those just didn’t want to go.

Even though it has the potential to go the way of the vulgar frat party movie, Accepted’s leading characters are more the chess club types than chucklehead beer guzzlers who only attend college for the parties and the girls. However, these nerds are surprisingly adept at delivering confident hilarious one-liners to whatever jock or Delta Capa Beta president is disparaging them.

Even though Bartleby caves when the pretty girl asks him to mow her lawn before the party he’s not invited to, he trounces the chiselled high-achieving types with his quick wit. Like a young Jon Stewart, Justin Long sarcastically deadpans as he congratulates one of the awful frat boys on his anti-Semitism and repressed homosexuality.

Unfortunately, this bright young actor isn’t enough to sustain such a terrible plot for longer than 30 minutes. Even at a paltry 90 minutes, Accepted would need double espressos and speed balls to help it effectively cram for that long. The director’s point about Ivy League universities being stuffy and rigid is taken, but the movie goes too far in slamming higher education. A college that offers Bumper Stickers 101 and bikini watching as classes is just too out there to be funny.

Except for the heavy kid who dresses up like a hot dog and shouts "Ask me about my weiner," as a hazing ritual, the supporting cast is quite dull. The object of Bartleby’s affection adds nothing but perfect hair and a lot of giggling. But even with a failing plot and predictable ending, Accepted is still worth its tuition for giving Long a springboard in which to launch a very promising future.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

RATED: PG-13 for crude and sexual humour, language, drug references and brief comic violence.
RUNNING TIME: 107 MINUTES
STARS: Will Ferrell (Ricky Bobby), John C. Reilly (Cal Naughton Jr.), Sacha Baron Cohen (Jean Girard), Gary Cole (Reese Bobby), Michael Clarke Duncan (Lucius Washington), Leslie Bibb (Carley), Jane Lynch (Lucy Bobby).
PLOT: Ricky Bobby is a NASCAR racing sensation whose "win at all costs" approach has made him a national hero. When a flamboyant French Formula One driver, Jean Girard, challenges him for the supremacy of NASCAR, Ricky Bobby must face his own demons and fight for his place as racing's top driver.

Gord Burt 4 Stars

As NASCAR legend Ricky Bobby, Will Ferrell turns a character who could’ve been as paper-thin as anything in a Saturday Night Live sketch into his most memorable comic creation. Like most extended sketch comedies, this one can’t quite sustain itself for its full length, but for more than two-thirds of its running time it’s hilarious.

Whether he’s stopping mid-grace at the dinner table to explain why he prefers to pray to the Christmas Jesus or running around the race track in a post-crash mental breakdown, Ferrell scores one big laugh after another.

Ricky has it all: a loyal best friend, huge mansion, too many product endorsements to name, a smokin’ hot trophy wife and two rambunctious hellion sons named Walker and Texas Ranger.
Made with NASCAR’s full support (several racing legends past and present have cameos) and shot at various NASCAR tracks around the United States, the movie has fun with certain NASCAR cliches, but it never condescends to the sport or its fans. It also includes some fantastic race scenes and crashes; one crash is so long they cut to a commercial only to pick the crash up still in progress.

Everything from the vehicles to clothing are covered with logos and brand names; the movie itself may break new records for product placements per frame, and you can be sure everyone from KFC, Coca-Cola, Domino’s Pizza, Applebee’s and Budweiser paid handsomely for their spots.

The soundtrack is pure rock with bands like Lynard Skynard and AC/DC pounding out the speakers, but it’s also comically diverse as jazz is played in a redneck bar. Says the bartender: "We keep it on there for profiling purposes. We also got the Pet Shop Boys and Seal."

This movie, while technically a satire, embodies the honest American belief that anyone can succeed and become a star and make millions. Or, to put it differently: It’s finger lickin’ good. It’s eatin’ good in the neighbourhood. It’s the King of Beers. It’s... you get the idea.

Erin Harde 3.5 Stars

Hot on the heels of The Break-Up and You, Me and Dupree, Will Ferrell’s Talladega Nights proves that when it comes to obnoxious shallow comedy, he still rules over the Vaughns and Wilsons of the genre. Ferrell has learned to give up making preachy comedies that inevitably put the laughs aside in favour of a lesson.

Not so with Talladega Nights. It’s 107 minutes of uninhibited jokes that exist not to develop the plot but to extract laughs through bewilderment. For example, when star NASCAR driver Ricky Bobby crashes his car, he insists he’s on fire and strips down to his tighty-whiteys. Then, convinced he’s paralyzed, Ricky rams a knife into his leg. Once he’s back on his feet, his dad tries to stay Ricky’s fear of driving by placing a live cougar in the car. Like the movie as a whole, they’re all incredibly stupid scenes, yet surprisingly entertaining.

Unlike Kicking and Screaming, there are no lessons to be learned here, which is just fine. In fact, the movie exaggerates human beings at their worst - at least we should hope people like Ricky and his family don’t exist in real life. His trophy wife, a self-described driver’s wife who refuses to work (when she first flashes Ricky her breasts at a race, he mutters unblinkingly, "please be 18"), switches teams when Ricky’s best friend emerges as the better driver. Ricky’s kids treat their grandfather like dirt, and his estranged drunken father goes out of his way to get thrown out of Applebees. But they aren’t the only folks who are stereotyped. Every group gets a fair shake in this movie. The competition, a gay Frenchman who sips a macchiato as he drives, is hyperbole in the flesh.

Inherently mindless entertainment, Talladega Nights would flop without Ferrell behind the wheel. But his genius for these meaningless gut-busters is unprecedented and he scores another win as Ricky Bobby.

Miami Vice

RATED: R for strong violence, language and some sexual content.
RUNNING TIME: 135 MINUTES
STARS: Jamie Foxx (Ricardo Tubbs), Colin Farrell (Sonny Crockett), Gong Li (Isabella), John Ortiz (Jose Yero).
PLOT: Based on the 1980's TV action/drama, this update focuses on vice detectives Crockett and Tubbs as their respective personal and professional lives become dangerously intertwined.

Gord Burt 3.5 Stars

No pastels, no suit jackets with the sleeves rolled up, no sock-less loafers. The only things this movie has in common with its source is director Michael Mann, the title and character names.

There are things not to like about Miami Vice. It’s too long, the story’s confusing and not that compelling and yet writer/director Mann has crafted a gripping, visually intense motion picture that doesn’t fail on the basis of its needlessly convoluted plot and its hit-or-miss character arcs. As police dramas go, Miami Vice never loses its audience because it is unpredictable (you never feel like anyone, even the lead characters, is destined to survive) and in part because it never slows down.

When it comes down to it, there’s not a lot of action in Miami Vice, and most of it occurs during the final 30 minutes. But Mann tricks you into thinking there is because of the constant threat of danger. Scenes such as the one in which Crockett and Tubbs introduce themselves to Yero aren’t violent, but they bubble with the potential for slaughter. Likewise, Crockett’s affair with Isabella treads along the razor’s edge of betrayal, catastrophe and passion. The best parts are reserved for Chinese actor Gong Li who manages to give a great performance and is particularly convincing in the final action sequence.

Interestingly there’s a noticeable absence of red in the movie, with blues being amped up. Contrast is low in many night scenes, with noticeable grain and the handheld camera puts the viewer right in the middle of the action.

There’s surprisingly little chemistry between the two leads (shouldn’t this be a buddy movie?), and Foxx is given precious little to do which is unfortunate as he’s the Oscar winner and Farrell’s the homemade porn maker. Also missing is some form of back story to our heroes. It appears Mann assumes we know them because we knew the TV show, but the movie versions are nothing like the TV counterparts.
As a cop movie Vice is great, but it’s the slower parts where a story is needed that keeps it from being amazing.

Erin Harde 1 Star

If all you remember of Miami Vice are those cute little pink and blue Miami Mice sweatsuits that every girl in your elementary school wore, chances are this updated film-length version of the hit ‘80s t.v. show will mean very little.

It has impressive pyrotechnics and a surprising amount of sex scenes, but unless it strikes any chords of nostalgia, and for many it won’t, it’s not a great story. Colin Farrell is the new Don Johnson and Jamie Foxx is the new Philip Michael Thomas, so at least the acting isn’t painful.

You may find yourself wondering not how they will bring down the drug lords or save the girlfriend in distress, but why Farrell is sporting a hair style right out of the original series when everything else has been made contemporary from cars, to clothes, to electronics.

At first, there appears to be a gender balance, which would also be an improvement on the series, but in the end, the women are either the downfall of a plan or just downtrodden. Tubbs’ love interest is a cop who ends up being kidnapped and nearly collapses the entire operation. Crockett’s love interest is a smart, driven woman, who is both business manager and lover of the man who the FBI are trying to bring down. Crockett goes undercover and it’s not long before he seduces Isabella. Suddenly the story halts for a good 15 minutes of lovemaking. It serves no purpose other than to offer up some cheap thrills and show off some skin. At least Foxx’s bedroom adventures are intended to show the passion he has for his girlfriend.

In the end, the women come out the big losers. Tubbs’ girlfriend winds up in the hospital and Isabella is exiled, robbed of her business and heartbroken.

Farrell emerges unscathed, mullet still in tact. Foxx also comes out on top, and the story finishes up just as everyone in the audience expected it to. Director Michael Mann gets points for cinematography. With a grainy quality and a hand-held camera feel, the movie looks great. Too bad Mann wasted the effects on such a useless film.