Charlotte’s Web

RATED: G for all audiences
RUNNING TIME: 96 MINUTES
PLOT: Fern is one of only two living beings who sees that Wilbur is a special animal as she raises him, the runt of the litter, into a terrific and radiant pig. As Wilbur moves into a new barn, he begins a second profound friendship with the most unlikely of creatures--a spider named Charlotte--and their bond inspires the animals around them to come together as a family, especially when Wilbur’s life is at stake.
STARS: Dakota Fanning (Fern), Voices of: Julia Roberts (Charlotte), Steve Buscemi (Templeton), Oprah Winfrey (Gussy), John Cleese (Samuel), Robert Redford (Ike), Reba McEntire (Betsy), Kathy Bates (Bitsy).

Gord Burt 4.5 Stars

In a time when many children’s films are noisy and vulgar, the movie version of Charlotte’s Web is soothing. Author E.B. White’s tale about a radiant pig and his unlikely friendship with a soulful spider is so sweet that even multiple flatulence jokes can’t strip it of its dignity.

The awkward, vulnerable, playful and loving Wilbur, with whom the young reader/moviegoer identifies, lives in a barn where he attempts to befriend a gaggle of older animals. The animals are stand-offish until the intervention of one of nature’s ickiest creatures, a spider. Her name is Charlotte, and she appropriately is voiced like a combination of mother and angel by Julia Roberts.

Charlotte is the nurturing female who provides Wilbur with reassurance and guidance and even vocabulary lessons (“Salutations!”). Though Charlotte is regarded with distaste by the other barnyard animals, her friendship with Wilbur is as much his gift to her as to him.

This is one of those classic tales we all remember from childhood and it’s nice to know that they did it properly when they brought this gentle little bedtime story to the big screen. It’s not taken over the top, so it’s warm and cozy without being cheesy or sentimental. There’s plenty of humor thrown in that feels like it belongs to the story, from the horse with a fear of spiders to the crows dying to get into the cornfield to the fast-talking rat that gets some of the best lines.

Dakota Fanning is adorable and looks like she’s having fun playing around with a pig. There’s also a powerful message about the importance of keeping promises (even when it’s hard) and the strength of friendship. There is even a poignant moment or two (especially the powerful climax which is still one of the most touching in modern fiction) that might bring the tear-prone people to get out their hankies.

Special stories like this are rare and so are the films which treat them with the respect they deserve.

Erin Harde 4 Stars

If E.B. White made you fall in love with his protagonist pig Wilbur in the beloved children’s classic Charlotte’s Web, you’ll take one look at the movie version of the runt and fall head over heels.

Not only is he a most likeable little pig, he’s as adorable as a kitten. Little, fuzzy and pink, not to mention the kindest animal in the barn, it’s no wonder Charlotte the spider makes a promise to save him from the smokehouse. Of course, Fern also champions her pet pig’s cause. As the young animal rights crusader, Dakota Fanning is the right combination of cute and stubborn, though her first lines are a little stiff.

Fanning, a big name in her own right, is among a huge ensemble cast including John Cleese as the lead sheep, Robert Redford as the arachnophobic horse, and Reba McEntire as a gossipy cow. Julia Roberts delivers an incredible performance as the spider. Once you remove the sensory overload of her big toothy grin, there’s a surprisingly beautiful and articulate voice behind it.

Unlike Liam Neeson’s Aslan in The Chronicles of Narnia, the voice isn’t distracting. When Neeson delivered his lines, it was impossible to separate the actor from his voice. Somehow Roberts’ voice so perfectly suits Charlotte that she becomes the spider.

So beautiful is Charlotte’s personality that she becomes lovely to all of the animals, not just Wilbur. Each word she spins – at first “Some Pig” then “Radiant” and “Humble,” is just as miraculous on screen as it was in the book. The final ‘miracle’ of the movie is preceded by a very sad moment. Even though it doesn’t come by surprise, the moment is still a tearjerker, and not the only one.

Yet, for the most part, the tone is light, with lots of humour thrown in from the barn’s inhabitants. Funny or sad, Charlotte’s Web remains as endearing on screen as it is on paper.

Unaccompanied Minors

PLOT: Snowed in en route to their father’s house, two Unaccompanied Minors, are ushered to the airport’s holding cell for dozens of stranded, parent-free kids from all over the country. Once loose, they outwit and outrun security, and along the way, prove that the holidays aren't about where you are, but who you're with.
RATED: PG for mild rue humour and language.
RUNNING TIME: 89 MINUTES
STARS: Gina Mantegna (Grace), Lewis Black (Oliver Porter), Wilmer Valderrama (Zach Van Bourke), Dyllan Christopher (Spencer), Tyler James Williams (Charlie), Brett Kelly (Timothy “Beef” Wellington).

Gord Burt 3.5 Stars

Why this movie is fun is a mystery. To be honest there isn’t a single original plot point in Unaccompanied Minors (having ripped off elements of most Christmas films and almost every John Hughes film especially Home Alone), yet there is sill fun, and some Christmas cheer, to be had.

A busy airport is the layover point for a holiday season full of travelers, including kids going solo, with most being passed from one divorced parent to another. Five tweens are stranded in a Chicago airport when a Christmas Eve blizzard grounds their flights. The layover is especially glum since chief of operations Oliver Porter is a curmudgeon who prohibits holiday decorations.

The film’s five junior leads are one-dimensional, but likeably played by charismatic young performers. Oafish “Beef” Wellington finds his Aquaman action figure better company than real people. Charlie is a bookish square. Tomboy Donna has a chip on her shoulder; rich girl Grace is a spoiled princess and nice guy Spencer keeps putting his foot in his mouth.

They gradually open up to one another as they play hide-and-seek with the bumblingly inept airport security guards and make steam shoot out of Grinchlike Mr. Porter’s ears due to frustration.

There are some cameos from stars of The Office and Arrested Development but among the best are the wonderful Teri Garr as the Davenport kids’ dizzy aunt and Kids in the Hall alums Kevin McDonald, Mark McKinney and Bruch McCulloch as dopey security guards (standing, of course, in the hall) who can’t keep the kids in locked rooms monitored by video surveillance.

There’s little here that will interest most grownups or teens, but Unaccompanied Minors generally avoids the crassness of so many recent family movies, and has some fun with absurd situations. Though the dialogue is routine, the situations are colourful enough to keep kids watching, and maybe even garner a chuckle from the Grinch in the audience.

Erin Harde 1 Star

Promoted in the same vein as Home Alone, this new ‘kids gone wild at Christmas’ movie is just that – a bunch of Unaccompanied Minors hopped up on sugar and lattes, running amok just because they can.

The plot is thinner than a 20-year-old string of garland, the acting forced and obnoxious and the pace as agonizing as a slow family dinner before presents. Only here, the presents never come. It’s as if the creators deliberately plucked all the worst elements of the holidays and threw them together like a fruitcake.

The very setting itself is enough to make audiences grouchy. Who wants anything to do with a busy airport during Christmas, let alone one that has grounded all flights? It’s not even fun to watch. Add dozens of children flying without parents and it’s a recipe for disaster, and not the funny kind of disaster found in classics like National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

Unaccompanied Minors expects us to laugh at the main characters’ bratty little sister who screams at the top of her lungs because she doesn’t want to sit on Santa’s lap. Then we’re supposed to laugh at the spoiled ‘tween who sneaks away from the minors’ lair to have a facial. “Isn’t travel exhausting,” she sighs to her team of attendants.

The main character seems to have good intentions but his impossible resourcefulness is just irritating. The other main characters round out the cast of stereotypes – the nerd, the tomboy, the rich girl, and the fat boy. The latter actually gets the most laughs in the show, especially his kung fu showdown with an ambivalent cat.

Even at 90 minutes, half the movie is cluttered with filler including a sledding scene, dancing scene and random dashing through the airport scenes.

Throughout their escapades, familiar faces show up including some of the Kids in the Hall, two actors from The Office and Wilmer Valderrama from That ‘70s Show. But even these comedians can’t save this piece of coal.