The Omen

RATED: R for disturbing violent content, graphic images and some language.
RUNNING TIME: 110 MINUTES
STARS: Julia Stiles (Katherine Thorn), Liev Schreiber (Robert Thorn) Mia Farrow (Mrs. Baylock), David Thewlis (Jennings).
PLOT: Robert Thorn’s wife Katherine endures a difficult delivery where their newborn child has died. The hospital priest presents Thorn with another child born that night, whose mother died in childbirth. Only later does Thorn comprehend the truth: Damien is no ordinary child; he is the long-prophesied Anti-Christ.

Gord Burt 0 Stars

Not since Freddy vs Jason in August 2003 have I rated a movie an absolute zero. This stinker adds a second title to the illustrious group.

Want to know a bad omen for a horror movie? When it spends an hour or more trying to scare you and you find yourself yawning more and more or checking your watch.

Perhaps the only reason this poor excuse of a movie was made is because someone thought up a good marketing ploy for opening day (6/6/06, which replicates the "666" sign of the beast). Early in the movie, a shot of the World Trade Center in flames along with a Hurricane Katrina devastation shot are used to show the coming of Armageddon. The filmmakers couldn’t be any more crass if they tried. That, and the sloppy acting just stinks.

The casting of Mia Farrow as Mrs. Baylock, the nanny from hell, lends The Omen a twist of gallows humour because every spoonful of sugar given by this apple-cheeked, sweeter-than-sugar Mary Poppins-wannabe is laced with poison. The rest of the cast is simply deadweight. Julia Stiles and Liev Schreiber are C-grade performers (at best) who have avoided stardom because they’re boring, and they live up to their reputations here.

What’s unique about both the original Omen and the new version is the concept that a seemingly defenseless child (aptly named Damien) is the spawn of the Devil. It brings to mind the conundrum about going back in time to Adolf Hitler’s birth. Could you kill the child, even knowing the great evil that would result from his surviving into adulthood? Sadly we know the answer. Those who have seen the original Omen will find nothing new or surprising here as it’s the most literal remake since Gus Van Sant poorly copied Psycho.

Perhaps the Catholic Church should lay off The Da Vinci Code and force the creators of The Omen to do some sort of penance for complete and utter crap in this unnecessary movie.

Erin Harde 1 Star

Supposedly Mia Farrow was so scared at the debut of The Omen, she had to leave. The question is what upset her? Perhaps the amazing let down of a movie so hyped for its horror? Maybe Julia Stiles’s appalling acting? Or maybe the unrealistic way in which Farrow’s creepy nanny character flies through the air after being creamed by a car.

Her fear could not possibly have been caused by the movie’s story or effects, though it’s possible she was in the wrong theatre. The Omen is not remotely scary; sure, it has a few cheap jumpy moments, mostly in dream sequences, but they’re fast clips to the point of subliminal and quickly forgotten. They occur as both Kate and Robert dream about their son between flashes of devils or bloodied bodies. There are several violent deaths, which are gross but don’t warrant shivers.

Before Farrow’s Scary Poppins arrives, nanny number one hangs herself at Damien’s birthday party. A priest is pierced by an iron rod and a photographer succumbs to a disgusting beheading – unfortunate, as David Thewlis is the best actor of the bunch. As usual, Stiles’s performance is on par with a high school production; she bursts the suspension of disbelief bubble with her forced delivery and stiffness.

Farrow is adequately evil, as is the kid who plays Damien. He doesn’t say much, but one doesn’t imagine the devil’s son would enjoy small talk.

Its only redeeming feature is the use of prophecy and spooky distortions in photos, which predict how the subject will die. It is the clever photographer who figures out this pattern and incites Robert to grab a spine and do something about his devil’s spawn. In between these moments and nightmares, the movie, like the 1970s Omen, is just dull and dreary – a boring remake of a boring original.